If I Became President...

I recently was kind of randomly thinking about what I would do if I were president, and I thought it would be fun to compile a list. So here are some of the first things I would do in office, in no particular order:
-Extend Presidential terms to 8 years. Why we have to dump bucket loads of money into campaigns every four years just so we can re-elect the current president (so it seems) doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Not to mention that four years isn't all that much time to get much done in our tortoise slow government.
"But what if we get stuck with a bad president for eight years?" Well, we had both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush for eight years. Unless you are unlike anyone I've ever met, I know that you really didn't care for at least one of those Commander in Chiefs.
-Stop Making Pennies. I know we all pretend to like pennies by stopping and picking them up off the street. I know that we all like to think that they add up, but...in reality, our change jars only ever add up to anything because every so often we find quarters and dimes. Yeah, we use them occasionally to make just the right change, etc., but don't you think we already have enough of them in circulation? I know that in my change jar, it's the quarters and dimes that I occasionally fish out, and the pennies just sit. You'd think that the success of the "Penny Power" charity shows just how much everyone cherishes their pennies. Apparently, however, it's still worth paying 140% of their value to make more pennies to sit around in people's rooms.
-Illegalize High School Musical. I know what your thinking. He just doesn't like the movies. It's just one of his over-reactions and he needs to get over it. Well, despite all the cheesiness, tackiness, and downright absurdity which climaxes in #2 with Troy prancing around on a golf course while attempting to deliver an inspirational "I'm turning my life around" song, here's just a short list of all the great things the movies teach this young generation.
1) Relationships that start off as "You're really cute and are a great singer. Oh, by the way. What's your name?" work.
2) Having absolutely no personality is nothing to hold you back as long as you are stylish and good looking.
3) Doing things like shutting off the power to your school's gym and mixing chemicals to make a toxic gas in your school are okay, or even honorable, things to do just so you can try out for the school musical when you have no excuse for missing the tryouts.
-Start using the Metric System. People always say it can't be done, that we won't ever learn, but I disagree. Here's the plan. For the next 50 years, everything is listed in both Metric and English measurements. That way, all of us old dogs who can't learn new tricks can still use the system we've learned while other's can learn the Metric. Notice I didn't necessarily say "Switch to the Metric System." I just think we should be able to use it. After 50 years, a decision will have to be made. Maybe we'll be ready to switch to Metric Permanently, maybe using dual systems would be one of America's strange quirks for years to come. Either way, at least we'll be able to use a road map in another country.
-Put Loco Soda back into production. A number of years ago, my family discovered a small soda brand called "Loco Soda" that featured mildly spicy soda (flavors were mango, blackberry, shoot, I can't remember the rest). It was pretty amazing stuff. I know it sounds weird, but it's kind of like jam on grilled cheese sandwiches. It doesn't make any sense, but it works. Then, one tragic day, we found out that Loco Soda had gone out of business.
-Teach U.S. Customs Officals a little politeness. I know some people have had better experiences than I have, but I don't think I ever remember talking to one that wasn't snobby and obnoxious. I know it's part of their job, but nothing says welcome home like a U.S. customs official.
-Line my bedroom walls with political cartoons making fun of me. I can't think of many parts of being president that I would enjoy more than being able to read a different joke about me in the newspaper every day. I would also commision Stephan Pastis (creator of comic strip "Pearls Before Swine") to create a character based off of me.

There are surely a lot of other things I would do, but I'm beginning to lose inspiration and I think this is long enough already. Hope you enjoyed this looking into what this country would be like with me in charge.